growing pains...

We are going through some rough patches with our little Tess.  She came to us a bold spirit,  no reservations,  and no boundries...  Asking to go right into school, play on a soccer team and that she needed 10 pairs of shoes just like her brother...among other things...all within the first month!!  We overcame the initial difficulties,  when we had no language to communicate, but now we are experiencing some new challenges...

Thankfully we have a dear family friend who is a retired child psychologist...affectionately known to us as "granny"...that is who I turned to first...

While Tess is doing great considering the huge task before her, she is emerging with a bit of a "in your face" boldness that can put people off...for example-she has begun asking for things everywhere we go and then gets aggravated and cops an attitude when I say no...we have all been patient and try to simply exlain why that attitude is not OK, but it is becoming a constant challenge that seems to be getting worse.

Until now we have not punished, used time out or even taken away anything for fear of it being too harsh too soon, but Granny explained that we need to take more affirmative action and discipline with her so she can begin to learn boundries and what behaviors are not OK...for example, I'm now using behavior modification charts and rewards to encourage  preferable behaviors. She seems very motivated by the charts and the small rewards she will get when she hits certain goals.  I remember doing this with all 3 of my other kids as well.

 I am choosing to share this because we have met  2 other adoptive families of older kids that shared similar stories with us, so I figure that there may be more of us out there.  Adopting is challenging no matter what...but adopting an almost 8 year old brings additional challenges that are really just starting to reveal themselves...

we'll keep you posted on how things progress!